I'm really upset. Like, deep in my stomach, having a hard time putting it into words upset. Why? Because Taliban fighters are, apparently, waterboarding U.S. Soldiers they have captured.
The Taliban commander asserted that waterboarding is not torture and does not violate the Geneva Convention or U.S. law. He assured everyone that a medical officer monitored all waterboarding sessions to insure that no permanent damage was done to the soldiers. In addition, he said they were careful to follow the directions on waterboarding in a SERE training manual they found posted on the internet.
You shouldn't torture people. You shouldn't because it's inhuman, terrible, and because, as the late great J.C. says, you should do unto others as you would have them do unto you. You can bicker about definitions of torture if you want to, but it boils down to: would it feel like torture if it happened to you? Once again, we fail this basic test. It's hard to even be mad at the Taliban on this one -- they have taken on the weird roll of the smart-ass kid who logics that "if others are doing it, why can't I?"
Effectiveness, argues the Bush administration. Effectiveness, because it works. Let's leave, for a moment, the debate about the information gleaned from torture, it's rate of reliability, etc. and focus instead on other things that are effective. The Klan were pretty effective. They used terror more successfully then pretty much any other American organization, and "effectively" brutalized and cowed multiple generations of African Americans. The IRA was effective. The bloody flag of September 11th was effective. It changed the entire U.S. foreign policy, gave us the Bush doctrine of preemptive war, and completely terrified an entire generation of Americans. People commit acts of terror simply because they work -- this should not be, this CAN NOT BE the litmus test for what we do.
Today, Obama is going to give a speech about the country, and how we lost our way when it came to the war on terror. Then, for some completely unfathomable reason, we are going to give Dick Cheney a chance to rebut him, and most news organizations are going to carry it. I wont be watching Cheney speak, because I think his records speaks nicely for its self. His guiding hand removed us from the civilized world, and now we get to sit back as our own justifications for why its no big deal to weatherboard a detainee is used as solid reasoning to torture our own troops.
I've never been shy about my support of Obama as president. I think he's already done great things, and that he will do more. But I worry that, as we debate the intricacies of torture, and what Nancy Peolosi knew when, that he will lose track of the thing that most drew me to him: a common sense take on the world that realized that, effectively, an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.
Yeah, so I quote Gandhi. So I went to this most basic hippy trope of shared humanity. But tell me, even if you are a conservative, even if you are pro military engagement, and support the Cheney years, tell me: is the world a better place now that Captured U.S. citizens can no longer expect to be treated under the Geneva convention? Have we won anything with that? Because if we have, I can't see it.
Since 2log has already rated the world of vegetables on their relative elitism, (alas, cry arugala and shallot farmers alike!) it seems as though you should now know all that can be known about how to avoid being labeled an intellectual elitist!
Unfortunately, this is not the case. Sean Hannity has some bad news for you: condiments can be elitist too! Watch the following video, and oggle at what passes for television in this fine country.
That’s right, friends. Obama has further confirmed himself as an elitist by ordering his hamburger with Dijon MUSTARD! The egghead! Ironically, he could have scored all the conservative points he wanted by including ketchup, the favorite of one Ronald Regan, and the only cross over on the vegetable/condiment lists.
On the other hand, as huffpo points out, Ray’s Burgers could have really maxed out the elite levels! "(at) Ray's Hell Burgers, ‘You can order the patties simply grilled, with a chipotle-spiked 'diablo' marinade, blackened Cajun-style, or au poivre with a black-peppercorn crust.’ Fancy! And if Obama had really wanted to strut his elite tastes, he could have opted to add any number of artisanal cheeses, like Dutch mustard seed Gouda, Queen Anne Stilton, or a cave-aged Amish cheddar.
Seriously. You couldn't find any closers of Joe Biden saying something stupid? Can someone find me the one American who meets the convoluted Sean Hannity definition of "non-elite"? I would like to find them and force them, Clock Work Orange Style, to experience SOMETHING.
So I'm hanging out with some big wigs today. Like, really big wigs. The wigs do not get bigger: CEO of J.P. Morgan whatever the hell, Main Man Bloomberg, some other shmoes. And we are, you know, hanging out. Shooting the proverbial Poop. And at one point, here I am sitting on the ground, over in the corner, cause, you know, that's where I end up at these sorts of events, and what do I see? Not one. Not two, but THREE mice running into the kitchen. (or, I must confess, one mouse three times. Or, one mouse twice and another mouse a single time?)
This is, I remind you, at the Grand Hyatt hotel. The home of Luxury. The home of Comfort. And here were three mice, just skipping all Nimbly Pimbly round the place as if they owned it.
But here's my thing: If mice are just hanging out in the Hyatt, WHAT the FUCK are they doing in my apartment? I mean, I'm a live and let live sort of a dude, right? I have no real problem with the furry little fellas (unlike Mr. Poison'o'pestulance Dingman over there), but I am the first to admit that my spot is something of a Dump. And if you can rub elbows with this man:
In honor of the scourge of Facebook "25 random things that you may not know about me" lists, we 2loggers are doing the only thing we CAN do in the face of such meaningless form letter drivel: mock it. Mercilessly.
#3. My lower back after sitting in the same place for more then a few hours
#4. Being punched in the nose
#5. When I was 7 years old, I was eaten by a Boa Constrictor. I had to claw my way out from inside it's distended esophagus. This explains a lot about my current relationship to politics
#6. The knowledge that somewhere, somehow, Carrot Top is still employed and making much much more money then me
#7. Anything relating to a Bronte sister
#8. My hamstrings
#9. Rush Limbaugh. 'Nuff Said
#10. You know when your sitting on the subway, and someone comes up and starts asking you for money, and your like: look, I'd love to give you money, but I only have this twenty, and also I never know how often I should give to people, like, a week, before I can alleviate my guilt for having money, and really I'd just rather not have to deal with this before I have my coffee... And then the next person on the subway gives them money and gives you a look like: tsk tsk, why can't you just be more generous, see, I AM. Yeah. That moment
#11. The memories of childhood that involve anything to do with naming bands or knowledge of pop culture
#12. The memories of high school that involve a school bus or the word “turbo-flick”
#13. The memories of the last 48 hours that involve Itzhak Pearlman, Jell-O, or anyone mentioning Naked Lunch by William S. Burroughs
#14. Leaping into the air down the steps of an apartment only to discover that the overhanging awning is lower then I had previously imagined, and made of Iron, leading to a forehead gash the size of a World War One trench and the perception (according to onlookers) that I had mastered the ability to levitate horizontally for far longer then it should have taken for me to fall the four feet to the ground
#15. Getting kicked in the Jimmy-Johns
#16. Getting Kicked in the John-Jimmies
#17. The fact that Karl Rove is considered a genius because of his cynical and nasty abilities to manipulate human emotion and convince people that they should hurt themselves for some vague concept of patriotism and/or fear.
#18. Hungry Hungry Hippos. ‘Nuff Said
#19. Am I still writing these? Jesus Christ, 25 is a lot
#20. Clean Coal. Really people? Clean Coal? Why are you spending Billions on reducing the emissions from a few nasty smoke stacks when that chunk of cash could be put into something that involves, oh I don’t know… the SUN?
#21. The existence of Everybody Loves Money, the reality show that highlights the absolute dregs of humanity
#22. The fact that I love “Everybody Loves Money”
#23. Snarky Blogs that mercilessly mock every good idea the internet has be poking holes in its conceptual makeup and bitching about the things they don’t like about life. (hmmmm)
#24. The knowledge that somewhere out there is someone who thinks that, hey, Bush was a pretty good president, all things considered.
This whole Bunny dust up has gotten me thinking. As a general rule, this is a bad thing. It often leads to disaster, and/or sushi after midnight (curse you NATURAL LAND SEA LAND!) But in this case, great things occurred. For I discovered, far out in the wilds of the internet, this gem that all you bunny lovers and bunny haters need to get a look see at: Fuck you, Penguin.
The most recent entries are a little bit weak, but if you go back a ways, the real gems start.
So, to conclude, I'll just say:
Fuck me, Bunnies?? No no, FUCK YOU.
I don't often get to say it, but THANK YOU Larry Flint! I know that Hall has already given us a solid list of political Euphemism’s in the current election climes, but what with the invention of Nailin' Palin, we have the need for another list:
Needless to say, I apologize about this. It's all Candice's fault.
Top ten Porn Titles in the “GOP Hotties 2008” list
Probably Not Safe for Work.
10. The Mav-Dick
9. GOP-ing a Feel
8. Trig's Special needs (editors note: WINNER for 2008 most inappropriate thought of the year award!)
... that registering voters is ripping a hole in the very fabric of our democracy? Yup. It is true. At least according to John McCain. This may have been, and I would take other submissions here, but this may have been the greatest piece of hyperbole in campaign history. Some dick who made a few extra bucks for signing up Darth Vader on an ACORN form is sure getting his 15 minutes of shame now!
"It must be depressing to be Paul Krugman. No matter how well the economy performs, Krugman's bitter vendetta against the Bush administration requires him to hunt for the black lining in a sky full of silvery clouds. With the economy now booming, what can Krugman possibly have to complain about? In today's column, titled That Hissing Sound, Krugman says there is a housing bubble, and it's about to burst," - John Hinderaker, Powerline blog, August 8, 2005.
